Help, they need some help here.
Shit, Twitter is down, laying on the floor looking lifeless compared to the energetic past. We need startup CPR, and quick. Somebody call the investors and TechCrunch, we might loose them.
Checking the vitals.
Airway, clogged with text messages. Code tilt, graphics lift.
Breathing, some twitterers are still using it, shallow, short tweets. Mouth to mouth started, users help them by not using advanced features or stressing out their vitals.
Circulation is weak, API calls are not getting requests. Start compressions, 100 per minute. Oh no, the users are getting board with the low API calls, the frequent ‘eyes open, everything is cool folks’ vs. ‘I am almost dead, I’m going to write emo poetry’ drama.
Twitter needs an AED. Quick.
Don’t die on me. Don’t die on me.